Friday Five - April 1st

Sorry this is a day late guys!

This past week I got some very sad news. I am currently editing my first novel. I had been accepted into a writing workshop and been told they were willing to publish my novel. However, after letting them know I thought the workshop had trouble because I didn't think everyone was being heard - I was told that I was the problem, and removed from the rest of the classes and told they would not be publishing my novel.

I have been dealing with a range of emotions this week, from self doubt, to egotistical madness, to despair to anger. I am trying to stay positive though. Writing is a tough job, and while I know having a tough skin is essential, this is the first time in a long while I have had to use mine.

So this week's five items are ways to look at situations when you feel attacked. It is easy to take the low road and be vindictive, but I want to be better than that and hold myself to a higher standard.

1. Wait to react. It is easy to react out of pain, often with consequences that make it difficult to move forward. While it is not always possible, try to take some space to process and calm down.

2. Consider what was said. This one is hard, but unless someone is out to get you there may be some kernels of truth there. In my case, they thought my book was better written in a different format. I'm still considering what format I might use, but it is definitely worth reviewing.

3. Avoid being bitter. This one is hard. My initial reaction is still to lash out and be bitter. But there is nothing that will be gained from doing that. In a true case of irony, I had started a study group server for my classmates. I have not told them what is going on as I wish them to focus on getting as much out of the class as possible, and I don't want them to feel like they can't speak up. So I am helping them with exercises and continuing to do my best to be useful. It gets easier over time, and I like to think that it also helps me.

4. Move on. Another difficult one, and I haven't done this completely yet. Bad things happen. On the scale of bad things, mine (and maybe yours) may not be the worst that can happen. But it still hurts. But wallowing in the pain won't help. Acknowledge the pain, Work through the pain, and Move on. Probably one of the hardest things, and definitely falls under the easy to say, hard to do category.

5. Think of something positive. I will admit this is not always possible, but it still is worth the exercise. There are things in most people's life that there is nothing positive about the dark side of things. The best I have done in those situations is be grateful I have survived and that was my positive. Regarding my book, I will get more freedom and may be able to reach a wider audience. Who knows, maybe eventually I will get a book tour! Probably not, but definitely would not have happened with the previous publisher, as it would have been online format only.

Getting over a tragedy in life is always difficult, and takes time. Some things can be resolved faster than others, and sometimes it takes years. Remember who you are in the process though, and who you want to be.